Time for what matters

  This is a Sermon I gave online to the Unitarian Universalist Church of Brevard on 9/20/20.
(FYI, the extra punctuation and spacing is to remind me to breathe - in general good advice).

Time for what matters

I’ve been thinking quite a bit about how I use my time lately, and I confess,

I tend to be one of those people who tries to do everything.  I have been 

known to ignore the adage, “there are only so many hours in a day” and 

try to squeeze as many things that “need to be done” in a day as possible.  

And most of these things I “need” to do, are my own fault.  

I’m a “joiner”, I’m a frequent volunteer and I find myself adding new tasks 

to my growing list.  I almost always take on leadership roles, simply 

because I think it needs to be done.  I offer my time to family and friends 

when help is needed.  And because of this, I find myself at times overwhelmed, 

wondering how I got here. Now don’t get me wrong, I love down time.  

I crave those days when I can just chill and watch Netflix.  But even on 

those days, I always seem to find myself more work. 

When the pandemic started, I found myself relieved for a break, 

but soon in this “new normal” of Covid life, I found myself “virtually” 

overwhelmed.  In life, I am a joiner, and in cyber-life, suddenly the 

whole world was at my fingertips.  I found myself signing up for 

every zoom, every facebook live, every action and petition.  

Trying to get involved with every cause and take advantage of 

every new opportunity.  Trying to be everything, to everyone.     

And it wasn’t just after Covid that I have had this problem.  

I confess it is a lifelong affliction.  At a young age I wanted to be 

in every school club, try out for every play, be involved with every 

music group.  I found myself juggling between overlapping schedules, 

and rushing from event to event, to try to do it all.  I have a serious 

case of FOMO (for those who don’t know, that is the Fear of Missing Out)

My “FOMO” addiction didn’t change into adulthood.  I frequently found 

myself volunteering to help, and soon after, helping to lead.  

It’s no one’s fault but my own that I take these things on, but of course 

like anyone, I would eventually crash, exhausted, I'm only human.  

I suppose this is my vice, my desire to connect to the world, to create 

my legacy and make an impact, to give and to learn.  It was exhilarating , 

but it was also exhausting.  

I am a lover of learning, of new things and new experiences, and 

here-in lies my issue.  I want to do “all the things”.  And It’s not just a 

love of learning, it’s a feeling of connectedness.  That group experience 

that we all look for.  We all crave that magical sense of community, that 

feeling we get when we find our “tribe”, our people.

To quote Beyonce, we want to be “part of something way bigger”.  

The first verse in her song “Bigger” says it best.

If you feel insignificant, you better think again

Better wake up because 

you're part of something way bigger

You're part of something way bigger

Not just a speck in the universe

Not just some words in a bible verse

You are the living word

That “living word” that feeling of significance, of being a part of a wider world, 

is our taste of immortality.  And all the things I do, all the ways I try to 

leave my stamp on the world, all the ways I try to understand how 

I can contribute to that wider world, that is our connection to the universe.

But the question I need to ask is, what Actually matters?, what brings me 

that connection to the world, and to others?, and what is just noise, and filler?.  

I get the feeling that much of it, is just noise, and filler.  I find it fortuitous, 

that I started this reflection around Rosh Hashanah, which is the Jewish 

New year, a time of self-examination and repentance. A time to reflect on 

where we have fallen short, and how to improve ourselves in the new year.

So here is my confession, my self-examination.  I am not Super Woman.  

I have had 40 years on this Earth, and the biggest lesson I still need to 

learn, is that I should not try to do everything.   What I should be doing, 

is finding the time for What Matters.  What I should understand, is that 

those deeper connections, those feelings of being with our “tribe” , 

our “people”, are what should matter.  Those moments, those 

memories, we share with our community are what should matter.   

So I have given myself a new assignment, and that is to redefine 

in my life, What Matters.   

What matters, first and foremost, are the people in my life.  

My family, my friends, the people who enrich my life, and fill that 

longing in my soul for connection.  The ones who are with me, 

for a season, those who come in my life for a reason, and those 

who are with me for a lifetime.  

These people should always be my compass, and I admit, 

I find myself adrift at times.  In my desire to experience the world, 

I neglect the universe in front of me.  My people, my tribe, my friends 

and my family, those are the ones who matter, and they should 

be my Universe.    

Now that doesn’t mean that the rest of the world, doesn’t matter.  

Of course it does, and of course, we need to stay connected to 

our wider community.  But with everything, it needs to be in balance.  

I can not watch, consume, and participate in everything there is to do.  

I can not right all the wrongs of the world myself, nor should I try.  

But I also can not give myself completely to those in my life.  

I want to spend time with my family and friends, but I also have to 

take some time for myself.  Self care, and your connection with 

yourself, is just as important as your connection, to the people in 

your life. Our commitments to our Friends, our Family and our 

Community are important, but what also matters, is understanding, 

when it’s time to rest, and recharge.

There are of course always those things that need to be done, 

but it’s about asking, what is my priority, at this moment.  

What “needs” to be done now, and what “can” be done later.  

Can I take 5 minutes, and just, be, present?  What is “important” 

at this moment, and what should be my priority? 

Some days we feel super productive, and others, we just feel 

like chilling out, and both are ok.  Balance is the key for all things, 

understanding what is important, when it’s important, 

and realigning my time to what matters.   

When doing my assignment, I found I needed to realign the way 

I look at my time, and how it is spent.  I started to notice that 

I was annoyed, when my family or friends would “interrupt” 

anything I was doing.  My priorities were misaligned, and 

that wasn’t fair to either of us.  

I prioritized that video, that email, that live stream, all that 

noise over the people around me.  I have to ask, is that video, 

that email, that live stream, more important than those I care about?  

The answer, is of course no, but the action I did, was yes.  

That’s what needed to change.  The lesson I have to learn is, 

I have time.  I have time for what matters, because I make time, 

for what matters.  

So as I sit here, trying to squeeze time in my day, my first assignment 

is, to really look, at all the things I am doing.  We don’t have time to 

do everything we want, or “need” to do.  What we can do, what I can do, 

is to redefine my priorities.  

To pick up that phone when my mom calls, instead of waiting until 

after I finish a show.  To stop what I am doing, and listen to my kid 

tell a story.  To sit with my husband, when he asks for my time, 

instead of thinking of all the things I “should” be doing.  

Time with my people, IS what I should be doing.  

The rest is just noise, just filler, and no matter how important 

all the other things around me seem to be, in the end they are 

all just filler.  Does it need to get done?, Maybe?  Does it need 

to be done at this moment?, probably not.  And that is the 

realignment I “need”, I “need” to live, in the present moment.

Do I always make the right choices?, no.  Do I always get my 

priorities right?, of course not.  I am human, and as a human 

I am eternally, a work in progress.  But I am inviting myself to 

go on this journey, to seek to realign my priorities, and seek 

balance for my life and my time.  

So I invite you along on this journey with me. I invite you to ask yourself, 

what are the connections that matter? What connects you 

to the world, to your tribe, to something bigger?  Ask yourself, 

should I spend this moment enriching my mind, or should I spend 

this moment with those I care about, enriching my soul.  

Your legacy, your immortality is not decided by you.  

It is your connections to your tribe, your people, the impact 

that you leave with others that decides how you live on.  

To quote “A Small Fiction” by James Mark Miller:

"Do you have a magic spell to return someone to life?" (the girl) asked. 

"No," the witch said, "I'm sorry." 

"Oh." (said the girl sadly) 

"Why don't you tell me about them?" (the witch said) 

"Will that bring them back?" (asked the girl) 

"For us. For a little while. (said the witch) 

Stories, are a different kind of magic."

My friends, A rebalance is in order, and in that rebalance, you matter, 

I matter, we matter, our connections to each other, matter.  

And while I might try to do everything, filling my life with noise 

and filler, it’s at the expense of what really matters in this life.  

The people who touch your life, and connect you to your 

greater self, they are what matter.  Your memories, your stories, 

your time with the people in your life, and their memories 

of you that they carry on, are what matter.  They are your legacy, 

your universal memory, your immortality, your magical connection 

to the universe.  It's time my friends, for a realignment.  It’s time, 

to make time, for what, and who, matters.  

Thank you.