The March Sisters of Progress
By Beth Anz
“I’m angry nearly every day of my life”
There are so many quotes in Louisa May Alcott’s book
“Little Women” that hit differently, in different phases of our lives.
This dialogue from Marmee March, talking to her headstrong
daughter Jo, was published in 1868, but feels just as relevant today.
“I’m angry nearly every day of my life”
The scene takes place after Jo (the second oldest of the four
March sisters), has a fight with her youngest sister Amy.
Amy was upset she was not invited out with her older
sisters to the theater, so in anger, she burns her writer sister
Jo’s most prized possession, her written manuscript.
Jo vows never to forgive Amy and takes off the next day
with their neighbor friend Laurie, ice skating on the local pond.
Amy follows after, trying to catch up to them on her skates,
and while Jo ignores her, Amy falls into the freezing
waters of the pond. Jo rushes to save her sister’s life,
regretting her anger at her sister.
It is after this moment we find Jo with her Mother Marmee,
asking her for advice.
Jo says: If she had died, it would've been my fault.
Marmee says: She will be fine, the doctor said
he didn't even think she'd catch cold.
Jo says: What is wrong with me? I've made so many
resolutions and written sad notes and cried over my sins,
but it just doesn't seem to help. When I get in a passion,
I get so savage I could hurt anyone and I'd enjoy it.
Marmee says: You remind me of myself.
Jo says: But you're never angry.
Marmee says: I'm angry nearly every day of my life.
Jo says: You are?
Marmee says: I'm not patient by nature,
but with nearly forty years of effort I'm learning
to not let it get the better of me.
As I grow older, I understand more the feelings of Marmee
and her daughters. And it is no wonder they are angry.
The four March sisters - Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy,
all have different dreams and desires, but these
dreams are limited by their civil war era society when
women were not to seek desires outside of marriage,
family and a domestic life.
Now let’s recognize, they did have some privilege.
They were white women of modest means in an
affluent society, but they had their challenges and
societal expectations like any other women.
As their Aunt March reminds them, it is their duty to
make a rich match and marry well. The youngest Amy,
who travels with Aunt March echoes her Aunt’s
lesson when approached by a suitor:
“As a woman, there's no way for me to make
my own money. Not enough to earn a living or
support my family. And if I had my own money,
which I don't, that money would belong to my
husband the moment we got married.
And if we had children, they would be his, not mine.
They would be his property. So don't sit there
and tell me that marriage isn't an economic
proposition because it is. It may not be for you,
but it most certainly is for me.”
You can hear echoes of this speech in our world today.
Director Greta Gerwig, who directed the 2019 movie
adaptation of “Little Women” found the dialogue
speaks to a modern world just as it has for generations
of women and girls.
And for her recent movie “Barbie” she gave her heroine
a speech that would have resonated with the March sisters.
Mom Gloria, in “Barbie” talks to the dolls about the
expectations of women in society and their contradictions.
In part it reads:
“You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not
so pretty that you tempt them too much or that
you threaten other women because you’re
supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. But
always stand out and always be grateful.
But never forget that the system is rigged.
So find a way to acknowledge that but also
always be grateful. You have to never get old,
never be rude, never show off, never be selfish,
never fall down, never fail, never show fear,
never get out of line.
It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody
gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns
out in fact that not only are you doing everything
wrong, but also everything is your fault.”
In these two speeches, over 150 years apart, we see
everything old is evergreen for women in society.
Generations of women have understood that male,
white society held the power and the privilege and
marriage was the only way forward.
It was only about 50 years ago that women gained the
right to open their own bank accounts and credit cards,
without the co-signature of a man. Marriage is a financial
institution, Amy March says, and women have had to
fight for their own agency, the right to their own
independence and autonomy.
I can remember my grandmother reminding me to
bring home a rich man when I went off to college
at the turn of this century. As I'm sure was a
disappointment to her, I married for love, not status.
But the generations before me stood up for equality,
to allow me that privilege.
Yes, Marmie, we are still angry, and we are tired.
And I’d like to think that much of this has changed.
But we see how quickly, long fought for rights, can
be rolled back. Unitarians and Universalists for
generations have stood up for equality and while not
always on the right side of history, we have always
stood up for what we thought was right. We have been
in the movements for abolition, for women’s rights,
civil rights and body autonomy. And still we must persist.
Yes, Marmie, we are still angry, and we are tired.
Author Louisa May Alcott, based this book on much of
her own life, growing up. These “Little Women” she
wrote about, were not helpless. Each had their own
dreams, their own identities and while they faced many
obstacles, they all were able to make their own marks.
Much like the March family, she grew up with idealist
Unitarian Parents who were active in progressive causes,
and aided the underground railroad. They rubbed elbows
with famous transcendentalists like Emerson and Thoreau.
Louisa never married, but worked toward causes such
as abolition, feminism, temperance and women’s
suffrage throughout her life.
Like her protagonist Jo, she worked to earn her own
money and independence. Starting at a young age,
she wrote sensationalized stories under various pen
names. But it wasn’t until she started writing from
her own experiences with her sisters, that she
found success with Little Women.
There is much we can learn from these women.
Generations of women in particular, have been
inspired by how these women forged their own
paths in a society that wished to define them.
This is a feminist story. But beyond that, it is a story
of agency, of finding ourselves in a society that wishes
to define us. A story that is evergreen for every
generation who seeks to define themselves outside
society’s expectations. Women, men, non-binary,
and transgender people can find themselves in
these stories. Because it is about our authentic selves.
Take for example the four March Sisters.
The four girls - Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy are joined by
the neighbor boy Laurie in their adventures, putting on
plays, and playing games together. All of them are
searching for ways to follow their dreams and escape
the expectations of society. It is a timeless coming
of age story, a time we can all relate to, where we
seek to find ourselves.
Jo, the strong, independent minded sister is the
picture of feminism. She is fearless, bold, assertive
and opinionated. Everything their society tells
women not to be. She encourages her sister’s
to find their own path and follow their dreams.
To reject marriage and homelife and live independently.
As she tells her rich Aunt Marmie:
"I Intend To Make My Own Way In This World."
A bold assertion for a woman in her society.
She perceives the privileged opportunities men
are afforded in her society.
She tells her male friend Laurie
"I can't get over my disappointment
in not being a boy."
because she envies his freedom as a man,
to choose his path and make his way in the world.
But Laurie believes that it is the March sisters
who have true freedom to dream and play,
while he is expected to study and follow in his
grandfather’s business, and can not choose his future.
Both of them feel trapped in what society expects
and long to be able to define who they are for themselves.
Something we can all relate to.
While Jo is one example of a feminist, she is not
the only one. A feminist can be bold and independent
of men, of marriage and societal expectation. But true
feminism is agency. It is the ability to choose our path,
and NOT have it defined for us. Even by well
meaning others.
In the novel, Jo accuses her older sister Meg of
throwing away her dreams by getting married.
It would be easy for us to take Jo’s view and see
traditional marriage as an act of regression.
But Meg marries for love, for her own reasons.
And calmly reassures her sister in a famous line
"Just because my dreams are different
than yours, it doesn't mean they're unimportant."
And that’s an important lesson. Your dreams are
different than mine. That does not make them less
or more, they are different, and they are important to you.
That’s what matters. True feminism does not define
who we can or can’t be. It’s allowing all of us to define
who we are and what we dream, for ourselves.
In college, I had the privilege of attending Friday prayers
at a mosque. I admit I had preconceived notions of the
oppression of women when I arrived. Like Jo, I thought
I knew what it meant to be free. To dress as I wished
and not be bound by any rules of society.
But I learned my ignorance quickly.
They explained to us they found freedom in their
dress because they controlled who they revealed
themselves to and how much they covered themselves.
It was both religious and a personal choice.
Where I saw restriction, they saw freedom and
agency over their bodies. Where I saw oppression,
they saw protection and choice. And like Meg, their
choices were different than mine, but still important to them.
And while Jo’s feminism rejected societal norms,
the youngest sister Amy, seeks to redefine her role
within society's constraints. Amy dreams of painting
and living the life of an artist, but she is a realist.
She understands that to live the life she wants, she
needs to take her Aunt’s advice and marry well,
which she does (but no more spoilers here).
She should not be vilified for her choices. We must
all work with what we are given, and find happiness
where we can. And Amy knows what she wants
and how to use her lot in society to get it.
That to me is a bold modern woman.
And finally the fourth sister Beth, who I was sad
to learn I am not named after, is quiet, and often
portrayed as a perfect, saintly young woman.
Another trope of womanhood. Saintly or scandalous.
Angel or Devil.
But we should look deeper at Beth.
She is another example of feminism.
Of service, charity and community.
While a character like Jo is the bolder, louder,
more prominent face of feminism.
Beth is the quiet caregiver.
Her mother Marmie encourages the girls to look after
their neighbors in times of need, especially the poor
Hummel family who live nearby. In a particularly
meaningful scene, the girls, at the urging of their mother,
take their christmas breakfast to the Hummels so
they have something to eat.
Director Greta Gerwig (also a Unitarian Universalist) in
her 2019 movie beautifully frames the March sisters
passing by a church flurry with activity, to go to the Hummels.
Telling us the true act of Christian Charity is not in
the building but in our actions. True to Unitarian
Universalism, action over platitudes.
Beth takes this lesson of Christian Charity to heart
and continues to look after the Hummels,
even when they are sick. Sacrificing her own
health and comfort for the sake of others.
We see many examples of Beth in our world.
Those who work tirelessly behind the scenes,
the nurses during covid, the servers and cooks
in disaster areas, the lawyers defending those
who defend freedom, all those jobs that work
behind the scenes so others can do the work of justice.
It takes a community.
In the book Jo is inspired by Beth to write from
her heart and create “Little Women” Without Beth,
there is no Jo. And therefore, without support
from each other, there is no movement.
That is feminism, for all of us. Supporting one
another to be ourselves, and creating a society
in which we can all thrive.
And as we March towards this progress,
we realize we need each other. We need to
understand that feminism is not a singular ideal,
it is a community. Our agency looks different
for each person. And that’s not just OK, that is
necessary to be truly a feminist.
Yes, women, men, he, she,they, all of us can be feminists.
And we must understand that supporting one another,
hearing each other’s stories and dreams, and
creating spaces to be ourselves is the true freedom.
Each of the March Sisters found their own path, and
their own agency. And together, so may we.
Don’t give up the fight dear friends, March on,
learn to listen to one another, truly listen, and
expand the circle to include everyone.
Our passion, our anger, can be our gift, our catalyst
to build the world we seek. A world that creates
agency for all of us, collectively.
So may it be.
